Taurean Ako
TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
Interesting....
I should say about 90% quite true.
Things not true mentioned here about me - Charming, patient and reliable.
Had an emotional break down this week and it all started because of one thing and led to another.
I remind myself, no one has the right to hold me back against my will, get me to do things I don't like to do and blah balh blah.
Eventually, somebody else will come cover up for me if in any case, I get 'Bullied' for nothing. It took place. Heh.
I always follow my instinct.
Corporate bully
Face it, every where you go there sure are politics for you to either fight/ struggle with or to just ignore.
What happens if people just have this knack to pick on you for no damn reason and always emphasizing their position in the workplace?
First of all, these people have a flaw which I would call
LACK OF SELF ESTEEM. They just want to show others their power and with that power, they think no one can challenge them. The matter of fact is that when you go higher in the hierarchy, the easier you will fall.
As a leader, you should carry out your duties with professionalism and not based on your childish point of views which are just ways of you getting at people during work.
Point out the mistakes of people, not the person themselves. You think no one dares to challenge you? I bet there are, just that you have not seen it yet.
Anyone can hold the position of a manager in any department, but how you do your job is another thing.
If you could lead with example, I would definitely salute you. Power is nothing, because anyone could topple you over with that power you hold and its not permanent definitely.
Before people respect to you, show some respect to others below you.
These people should jut stop working.
Gosh.
Simplicity
I've never been happier.
Never been.
It's all thanks to my new buddy, Clarence Chong for he taught me how simplicity can bring about happiness.
I'm starting to be more simple minded too.
No more:
1. Comparing myself to others.
2. Thinking I'm superior than others.
3. Thinking too much.
4. Worrying too much.
5. Wanting or having things beyond my spending capability.
It boils down to basic.
Do what you love and love what you do.
So what if you are laid back and your friends advance forward in their studies?
That does not mean anything much to me.
I will find a way out for sure, it's not that I'm:
1. Worthless.
2. Unable to find a job.
3. Choosy in getting a job.
4. Ungrateful.
5. Disobeying the law in any way.
To hell no.
I'm improving myself in ways some of you guys could ever imagine and I know it, just that I don't say it.
See me all you guys want to, I am who I am.
I take failure and success with pride for I learn with every mistake that I've done.
Finally, I got to confess, the karma I'm waiting for finally showed up.
Your constant bragging and belittling of people finally paid off on yourself.
Pays off to be a nice guy eventually, so safe to say, I'll stay on the light side.
=D
Open your heart, open your mind.
My heart is opening.
I'm not too sure, but I felt a sudden surge of happiness and love right now. Can't explain it.
Maybe raging hormones and all if you were to look at it in a scientific term.
Sometimes I don't understand.
Do you guys chase after blessings like it's some kind of points you can claim?
The more blessings you gain, the easier it is to get to heaven?
To me, counting blessings is like counting deeds.
You wouldn't like it if people counted deeds.
Well, if they did, maybe you have to work harder to please God and you may never please HIM.
I may not be a staunch Muslim, but I believe in just doing what is right and what is good for others.
I don't care if I go to hell to be burned for my sins, as long as In my heart I know I helped others.
No one can tell me if it's sinful to help a non-muslim or whatsoever crap you can tell me.
GOD DECIDES.SO LET HIM BE THE JUDGE.
Found someone
I told myself, my sixth sense may help me out at times.
I suspected someone was burying deep emotions, negative emotions.
After talking to her yesterday, yes it's true.
Imagine how it would feel to:
1. Not have anyone understand you.
2. To be shunned by your friends because you are always sad.
3. To have friends making things even worst because they don't understand how you feel.
The best part is, the person is in deep pain. Having her loved one passed away recently.
You don't call that a reason to be sad?
How thoughtless her friends can be?
It's easier for you all to be happy because you all live perfect lives:
1. Have two parents living with you.
2. Have two parents supporting you and giving whatever shit you want and pampering you.
3. Have all the riches in the world, anything you want is within your grasp.
4. Have the money and friends around you. (To think they are for your money only.)
I despise these people actually to be honest with myself....
People with brains don't always have a heart.
I don't know.
You appreciate something only when you lose them.
You love things because they are always there, but when you lose them, you don't feel the pinch because you can get them replaced.
But when you lose a family member, you can't get that same person again.
I feel it is time I shower my care and concern on this new person.
She deserves it better.
Don't forget.
You are the one needing the shoulder to lean on, not your friends.
You can care, but you don't have to care alone.
You are not alone in this world, my friend....
Fighting myself
Im just stirred up inside.
The things that make me happy are:
1. Colleagues.
2. Work.
3. Music.
The people who make me smile are:
1. Mr Ariel Mojica.
2. Clarence Chong.
I'm not sure if I'm dwelling in depression due to isolation from friends and the world. I know that the circle of friends in my life now has changed.
I confide only in less than 5.
For no damn reason, I just happen to bring up my problems to strangers. Well , I guess it irritates them but who cares. It will show me the kind of friends I'm going to keep and throw.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm in the deepest shit but then someone in my social circle is feeling crap right now and I know who he is. LOL.
Sometimes I get worried too if my friend who has confided in me does not come confiding.
Please, never tell yourself you are troubling me. When you tell your troubles, its like changing the filled-up rubbish bag that is sitting in the dustbin. The more rubbish you throw, its gonna get messy and cause a lot other problems.
Same like keeping your problems and sadness in you. Just the same like the rubbish bag example I gave.
I just feel the love for myself wobbling like, well I dunno.
It's causing me to lack energy and enthusiasm in whatever I do.
I'm not thinking much but then again I'm thinking a lot these days. Or maybe I'm not thinking at all.
I know there are those who care for me but somehow I still feel alone. Yes, that special someone has told me she would be there for me, but I know you don't have the time for my nonsense so, I just confide in myself.
Hmmm....
I asked Hamidah this question via sms.
Imagine this scenario: You have been love A alot but B is the marriage type of material for you. What would you do?
Hmm.
Her reply to me was, "Of course I would go for A, life is a game!"
For me, I'm not too sure. I would definitely go for A, well that depends too as well. Time will tell and I hope I don't get stuck with this kind of shit.
Well, in a way I'm stuck with this kind of shit. Something similar. But just that I'm not getting married, just waiting.
I'm not trying to think too much as I know love will come into my life again but its been 1 whole year of pain, 1 whole year of being lonely, 1 whole year of thinking of someone, how many more years of waiting to fill myself up?
Like I mentioned to Clarence jokingly, "Don't have to find girls, cause girls would find us."
Oh my gawd, so damn thick skinned.
Well, I decided to post my thoughts here cause, though its a reflection blog, well I did reflected didn't I?
Alam ko nito, di makapiling ka kahit gusto kita.
Ikaw ang type ko pa.
Di ko alam kung ano dapat kong gawin.
Sinasaktan ko sa king sarili kung umisip ako tungkol ito.
Ganoon talaga ang buhay.
Ganoon talaga ang mga babae.
Kung merong mabait na tao, ayaw nila.
Sana'y pipilihin mo ako isang araw,
Kasi, hinihintay ko sa'yo pa.
Mula noon kailan, di ko alam.
Pero sa habang panahon ba dapat kong maghintay?
Di mo alam kung gaano gusto ko sa'yo.
Makapaghintay ako magpakailanman.
Di bale.
Kung masaya ka, masaya ako rin.
Gusto ko tignan ang iyong ngiti muli.
Sana'y kausapin kita muli.
Narito ako sa piling mo ng parati.
Nakikinig ako ng iyong mga salita.
Kahit matagal dapat kong maghintay,
Lumigaya pa aking buhay dahil sa'yo.
Don't stay in a place too long if it doesn't help you move along !!!!
Ok, I have finally decided, the things I've been doing are kind of waste of time. Time is money and time is precious.
With each tick of the clock, I could learn something new, earn a few more dollars and learn new ideas.
I kinda wasted years of my life and now I have to catch it back!
How.....
Doesn't matter, I will find a way.
Definitely will find a way out of it.....
